How to Make Separate Finances Work: An Interview with J.D. and Kris
Written on July 18, 2011 by Cheryl Rankins
Every couple has its own way of managing money. Some folks share their finances completely. Some — like my wife and me — keep their finances completely separate. Most couples fall somewhere between these two extremes.
Writing for the June issue of Redbook magazine, Virginia Sole-Smith highlighted what she calls the new money rules for couples. Experts don’t agree on how couples should manage their money, Sole-Smith says. That’s because there’s no “one size fits all” solution. What’s most important is to find a system that works for you and your circumstances:
Clearly, the real experts are you and your partner, and it’s critical to find an arrangement that suits your exact situation, as pairs who bicker over bills once a week or more are 30 percent more likely to get divorced than those who squabble about it less, according to research from Utah State University.
Her article profiles four couples who have developed unique systems for managing their personal finances — including the laundry agreement Kris and I use.
Due to the nature of the article, Sole-Smith couldn’t possibly include all the info we provided when she interviewed us by e-mail. She had two paragraphs to explain our system, but we wrote over 2000 words. Rather than let all that info go to waste, though, I thought it’d be fun to share the entire interview here at Get Rich Slowly. This may answer some of the questions we often get from new readers.
Us J.D. is 42 and a writer. Kris, who will turn 41 in late June, is a scientist. We’ve been married since August 1993. We have three cats but no children.
Us Kris makes about $60,000 per year. J.D.’s income is too varied to give a meaningful answer. Sometimes it’s less than that, but some years it’s much more.
Us We each have our own checking accounts and savings accounts. We each pay some of the utility bills (we divided them up so they are roughly equivalent on an annual basis) from our own separate accounts, but when we were doing lots of remodeling on the house we had a joint account to pay the contractors. Kris buys most of the groceries while J.D. usually pays when we eat out. J.D.’s income is larger now, so he tends to offer to pick up the tab for more of the “splurges”. For day-to-day stuff, J.D. keeps a spreadsheet to show various expenditures and once in a while one of us will write out a check to the other one to even it out.
Tradition is fine if you value it and it’s useful; but it doesn’t make sense to cling to old habits just because “that’s the way they’re done”. I think many people in their twenties and thirties (and even their forties) recognize this, and they’re willing to try new things to see if they work. That’s a good thing.
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